Dunno where I'll be. But all I wanna do, is to be in a spaceship, leaving the sun behind me.
Sadly, I just wanna watch the clouds as they pass by.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
I'm not angry. Or pissed for that matter. I don't want big surprises. I know the consequences i have to face for whatever that went wrong. But, I'm making it up big time. But, i'm still just a boy who wld wanna have fun for just, one day. And that ain't possible. You may not have the intentions or wadeva you've asked, but try putting yourselves in my shoes and you get what I mean. I just want to be left alone...really alone.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Right after, downhill it went.
It's degrading truthfully, to go in a class with a bunch of youngsters and you're doing it for the second time. Something which no one would be proud off. If he/she does feel proud, let me know and I'll slap the oblivious out of them.
To sit down, then re-do what you're doing again, my god. It's saddening, but u just gotta swallow the sh*t as much as possible. Quitting my job, that was hard enough too. My heart was darn heavy as to leave the best people I've worked with, or would say, the only best people I'm gonna worked with, ever. Financial is being control, your life. Like a baby, every little step, I'm being monitored. It kinda degrades your dignity for a bit. But what can I do? Nothingggggg. *pout*
To sit down, then re-do what you're doing again, my god. It's saddening, but u just gotta swallow the sh*t as much as possible. Quitting my job, that was hard enough too. My heart was darn heavy as to leave the best people I've worked with, or would say, the only best people I'm gonna worked with, ever. Financial is being control, your life. Like a baby, every little step, I'm being monitored. It kinda degrades your dignity for a bit. But what can I do? Nothingggggg. *pout*
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Nostalgic hiatus.
Of course if I were to ask you to try remember your first day of kindergarten, you can't. Probably the haunting of wailing and crying made by your classmates.
My time was, everyone's in white shirt and pink shorts, and a pink boy tie. Yes, imagine every kid standing still and smiling, picture perfect. But no no. You go to school, your mum waves you off, sent you right in front of the door, where she hands you to the teacher. And you were led to your seat, where other anonymous face stare blankly at you. You look back, and there your mummy making small conversation with your one and only teacher. As you were about to turn back, some rather uncontrollable kid, started crying. And like domino's effect, another one started crying. And it followed through. Argh! The whole class is crying, including you. Comfort zone, you turn to look for your mum, and there she was, waving to you through the small metal window, plus some other kid's mother. It goes on and on...and the rest, I can't remember.
But going back to school wasn't like this when you're a grown up. You run thoughts in your mind, should I act cool, should I act like i'm not friendly, or should I simply be smiling, at everyone. You open the door, and it's very very tempting to just sink in and fade into the back of the class, more of at the back corner of the class. So no one would notice you. And you give in to temptation, unfortunately.
But as soon as you're settled, and here you are, lost in your own world, excited about the whole idea of you going back to school. It seems like only you and the lecturer existed, and, WHAM! Damn it, someone interrupted. You made a new friend, Wa Laa!
And the cycle goes on, until you have your own smoking buddies, your own click. Coolest group in the class. Yes, fashionably late, and bitchy. Comes the regular skipping of classes, hanging out for coffee and indulging in scones like some rich asses. You missed a whole lot of modules and classes and sadly, not as clever as everyone else, you fail. Hard reality bitch slap given to you. Ouch!
And the cycle repeats itself again, but somehow different. Now you're back repeating the same module, the same old books, the same old lecturer, but what's different, is the classmates. You decide not to make much new friends, you stayed focus this time round, and you see, the other kids around you, being so young and naive like you were before, laughing and talking and not listening. Skipping classes and eloping for every smoke break they could get. It sad, how I wish I could tell them MY story.
My time was, everyone's in white shirt and pink shorts, and a pink boy tie. Yes, imagine every kid standing still and smiling, picture perfect. But no no. You go to school, your mum waves you off, sent you right in front of the door, where she hands you to the teacher. And you were led to your seat, where other anonymous face stare blankly at you. You look back, and there your mummy making small conversation with your one and only teacher. As you were about to turn back, some rather uncontrollable kid, started crying. And like domino's effect, another one started crying. And it followed through. Argh! The whole class is crying, including you. Comfort zone, you turn to look for your mum, and there she was, waving to you through the small metal window, plus some other kid's mother. It goes on and on...and the rest, I can't remember.
But going back to school wasn't like this when you're a grown up. You run thoughts in your mind, should I act cool, should I act like i'm not friendly, or should I simply be smiling, at everyone. You open the door, and it's very very tempting to just sink in and fade into the back of the class, more of at the back corner of the class. So no one would notice you. And you give in to temptation, unfortunately.
But as soon as you're settled, and here you are, lost in your own world, excited about the whole idea of you going back to school. It seems like only you and the lecturer existed, and, WHAM! Damn it, someone interrupted. You made a new friend, Wa Laa!
And the cycle goes on, until you have your own smoking buddies, your own click. Coolest group in the class. Yes, fashionably late, and bitchy. Comes the regular skipping of classes, hanging out for coffee and indulging in scones like some rich asses. You missed a whole lot of modules and classes and sadly, not as clever as everyone else, you fail. Hard reality bitch slap given to you. Ouch!
And the cycle repeats itself again, but somehow different. Now you're back repeating the same module, the same old books, the same old lecturer, but what's different, is the classmates. You decide not to make much new friends, you stayed focus this time round, and you see, the other kids around you, being so young and naive like you were before, laughing and talking and not listening. Skipping classes and eloping for every smoke break they could get. It sad, how I wish I could tell them MY story.
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